Choices

So, today I was supposed to go to a concert (Down From Up) with my friend, but as is usual with me and making plans, something went wrong. My ride didn't really work out, so I couldn't go. So instead, what did I do today? I helped my mom out around the house. She is really stressed out because we have to watch my uncles poodle named Gucci, for THREE WEEKS, and my Pomeranian Joey has been acting out because of it. My golden retriever Charlie seems fine with it though, wich is a plus. But also, I have three cats residing in my house, two of wich are still kittens and I am positive I can't keep. I'm not looking forward to parting with them, but, it needs to be done. They don't get enough attention in my house because things are so hectic right now.

Meanwhile, I am about to start my senior year of highschool, homeschool style. So, I've been thinking about my future. You know, it's typical that there is always at least two choices, maybe more, but one of them is the one most people recommend. Well, see, I'm the stubborn girl who would typically take the other choice just because it wasn't the recommended one. Stupid? Yes. But in this case, I think one choice is more...Of a sure thing. Where as the other choice is more...Reckless, and the kind of thing no one would recommend. But I think it's the choice I'm going to make.
I don't want to regret my decision, but I really have thought long and hard about it.
I DO want to go to college to study filmography. But is it really necesary that I go RIGHT after I graduate? Is it horrible to take a year off before I start college?

See, I want to be an actress. But not just that, I want to work in the film industry as a whole. I want to write screen plays, and direct, and produce, and design. I want to do it ALL. And while my time could be well spent leanring and studying about it all in school, I could also go out and try and get some experience first hand.

My chances are one in million. I know this. Maybe I'm overconfident, and maybe I have too much hope. But maybe it isn't so bad to take a year off college, right? I'm still going to go, if in fact that is what I decide to do.

I mean, my friend Samantha wants me to go to ETSU with her next year, where as my friend Hollie wants me to go to Pellissippi. If I do go to college in a year, or in two, it will be one of those two schools I'm sure. But I really think it would be good for me to take a year off and move out to LA to try and get a jump start on my acting career. I mean, come on, I'm 18. I need to live my life. But I'm just SO concerned with letting people down. Everyone wants me to do different things, and I can't please them all...And most of the things they want me to do aren't the things I want to do. I know I'm supposed to follow my heart and all that, but I'm just so confused.

I don't know if there is a right or wrong choice. Most would say "Go to college now, worry about your career after you get some degrees." But it's not like I can't do that after. I mean, say I take a year off, and don't get any acting jobs, then I go to college and take that road.

Sigh. I don't know what I should do. I know what I want to do. And I know what everyone else wants me to do...It doesn't make it any easier.

Anyways...I should be writing my story right now, but my head is killing me and my mood is so up and down...So....Movie night? YES! But what movie? Hm....More choices...

-Brianna